Cinderella: Clothing as a Way to Freedom and Love?

Countless myths and tales such as Cinderella use clothing and accessories to convey a deeper message and signify character traits, personal transformations, and "spiritual laws" for finding true fulfillment (or everlasting doom). In the tale, Cinderella must deceive the Prince through wearing magically appearing or conjured regal clothing, signifying that her character isn’t good enough and that superficial appearance, status, and wealth is the only means to win the affection of a very desirable man.  She becomes transformed, and it seems a happy transformation, though from the start it is riddled with

Kate Moss on Style

anxiety. "What if he sees me as I really am?" she thinks."I must flee from him before the magic of my deceitful appearance wears off!" This isn't too far a cry from the anxiety women (and men) feel when out on dates or in romantic partnerships. As most modern ladies know: a night out on the town also has its limits. The now standard uniform of three and four inch stilettos and smokey eye make-up have their time clocks, don't they?

From her bondage as a servant to her evil stepmother, Cinderella is given an opportunity to be loved and free – through her dress, shoes, and coach.  Though freedom and love are admirable, the way she intends to acquire them is superficial. When the Prince discovers who she is by trying on the glass slipper (a metaphor for seeking the correct and beautiful fit of his partner) they don’t consider each other’s character. She sees only that she can be free, loved, and have status. He sees that he can have the woman that seemed to fit him on the enchanted evening they met and that she can become that woman once again --  with the right shoes and dress.
 

 Many people today are trying to find the right romantic “fit” through appearances and superficial transformations. Women and men diet and exercise fanatically and are obsessed with their figures in order to attract partners. As the essay “Fashion, Lifestyle, and Psychiatry” suggests, “weight is the predominant reason for distress in the majority of women today” (p. 170). Bonelli, a psychiatrist, reports that a general concern for appearance is a sign of health but that many take it too far. Adolescents are particularly susceptible to eating disorders, such as anorexia, which has only a 33% recovery rate and among whom 33% die (p 171). 

 

 









OK Cupid, an online dating site, reminds men and women that the most important factor in whether men will message women is based on attractiveness. Christian Rudder reports "When it comes down to actually choosing targets, men choose the modelesque.... Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten." On the other hand, women rate 80% of men as worse looking than medium,but they message these men anyway, which demonstrates that women message men based on different criteria than men (http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating).

Women, how many of you have tried to "improve" your guy?

People also try to “shape” their partners into “improved versions” that fit what they find to be attractive, with little attention to their partner's desires, needs, and character. Many end up going for people who appear to be Charming Princes or Beautiful  and Well-Dressed Women, without first looking at compatibility of values and lifestyle, which are deeper and more significant predictors of long-term lasting love and partnership.  

 

Cinderella is a portrayal of our healthy and legitimate need to be free from the bondage of others and our need to be loved. However, in Cinderella she escapes from one form of physical bondage (a servant to her stepmother) to another form of bondage (a slave to appearance, dress, and the satisfaction of a romantic partner). She moves from a loveless place, where she is despised by all of the close living humans in her surroundings, to a place of being

If you go for looks, Prince Charming has a 
good chance of turning out  to be a toad.

loved. However, people need to be loved for themselves, and not because of their appearance and dress, so though it may seem to bring happiness at first, unless the Prince learns to love Cinderella not for her “fit” in his life, and not for her beauty and appearance, she will likely never find the fulfillment she was looking for. The Prince may also legitimately question whether his status, attractiveness, and wealth is what Cinderella loves, or whether it is him that she loves. 

Such is the same with our lives. Unless we choose partners who love us for who we are and set us free to be ourselves, we will be in some sort of bondage or other.